Update and colour perception

I’ve been absent for a while. The reason is that I was writing a research proposal for a PhD and needed to fully concentrate on that. I’m happy to share that I’ve gotten the attention of five possible supervisors (out of 6 to whom I wrote!!!). This really has helped with my low self-esteem and depression. Both of which I’ve developed slowly since I moved to Stuttgart. The PhD wouldn’t be in Germany, though. I’m applying to other countries because I’ve decided that Germany is not where I want to spend my future, even when the person that I love the most in this world is here and is the reason why I came. I’ve decided I have to take my own choices, I have to create my own path. He can follow me, of course, but I wouldn’t force him to do that. I already know it’s not the best idea to follow someone just because you love them.

On another note, I wanted to share something that happened to me on the weekend. We went to visit my husband’s parents and we were having a wonderful time, eating cake and drinking coffee outside because it was sunny and not so cold. At some point, my mother in law looks at me and says: “Wow, I really like your hair…”. I was happy and said thank you. But then she continued: “It’s, ahem… I don’t know, so black… it’s really nice, so dark it almost looks like blue or black-blue”. I said thank you again, but this time I was kind of shocked about her colour perception. I think deep black or blue-black hair are beautiful options, I agree with that. But I didn’t understand how she could perceive my hair colour to be that shade!!!! It made me think that all she sees when she sees me is a brown Peruvian woman. :-/

This also reminded me of one time when we saw a small group of black teenagers outside a refugee shelter in the town where she lives. She said: “Oh, I don’t know why they are all the time on their mobile phones doing nothing. And they are so dark!!!”. Boom! My husband immediately asked what was wrong with being so dark, and she said: “Ah, of course, nothing, don’t take me wrong but it’s just that they are so different, it’s too much of a difference to fit here in Germany”. I wish I had said something back then, but I was only getting to know her and I really wanted her to like me.

The picture featured in this post is of me. Except for the hearts all over my face, there’s no photoshop or any alteration. What colour do you see my hair? Am I the one with a wrong colour perception? Do I actually have blue-black hair? Help!



  1. Oak brown? Speaking up vs. not speaking up is something I always berate myself over. Yes, sometimes it’s not worth saying something. But I forget when I’m mad at myself. The cell phone one always gets me. I’m not even sure how that computes in anyone’s mind. Most people do have cell phones, we live in a modern world. Problem is, it’s not just old people. When we were nineteen, my then best friend asked me if I could say hello to her brother and his friend. They really wanted to meet me, she said, they’d never seen a French person before. Small town, 45 minutes from Stuttgart by train. The whole region is provincial.

    But more importantly, congratulations on your PhD application. I need to get mine sorted as well. 5 out of 6 isn’t just “not bad,” that’s hitting the jackpot. Definitely a boost to get you out of depression!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What she said about the cell phone could be the subject of a whole new post because of all it’s biased/discriminatory implications! But briefly: P. had to explain to her that 1. mobile phones exist basically everywhere in the world nowadays, 2. for refugees is an essential means of communication with relatives back in dangerous places/situations and 3. the fact that they spend so much time ‘doing nothing’ is because the German government doesn’t let them study nor work until their papers are completely processed, which can take a lot of time.
    Thanks for the congratulations and many energies for your application process. I hope it goes great!!!!


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